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He was tentative at first. He would
evaluate requests based on the timid criteria, “Can I actually fulfill this
request, given the time and resources I have?” If the answer was no then he
would refuse the request. He was pleasantly surprised to find that while people
would at first look a little disappointed, they seemed to respect his honesty.
Encouraged by his small wins he
pushed back a bit more. Now when a request would come in he would pause and
evaluate the request against tougher criteria: “Is this the very most
important thing I should be doing with my time and resources right now?”
If he couldn’t answer a definitive
yes, then he would refuse the request. And once again to his delight, while his
colleagues might initially seem disappointed, they soon began to respect him
more for his refusal, not less.
Emboldened, he began to apply these selective criteria to everything, not just direct requests. In his past life, he would
always volunteer for presentations or assignments that came up last minute; now
he found a way to not sign up for them. He used to be one of the first to jump
in on an e-mail trail, but now he just stepped back and let others jump in. He
stopped attending conference calls that he only had a couple of minutes of
interest in. He stopped sitting in on the weekly update call because he didn’t
need the information. He stopped attending meetings on his calendar if he
didn’t have a direct contribution to make. He explained to me, “Just because I
was invited didn’t seem a good enough reason to attend.”
It felt self-indulgent at first. But
by being selective he bought himself space, and in that space he found creative
freedom. He could concentrate his efforts on one project at a time. He could
plan thoroughly. He could anticipate roadblocks and start to remove obstacles.
Instead of spinning his wheels trying to get everything done, he could get the
right things done. His newfound commitment to doing only the things that were
truly important—and eliminating everything else—restored the quality of his
work. Instead of making just a millimeter of progress in a million directions
he began to generate tremendous momentum towards accomplishing the things that
were truly vital.
He continued this for several months.
He immediately found that he not only got more of his day back at work, in the
evenings he got even more time back at home. He said, “I got back my family life!
I can go home at a decent time.” Now instead of being a slave to his phone, he
shuts it down. He goes to the gym. He goes out to eat with his wife.
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